Harmony Family Farm

I am all about everything HOME. Home is where the heart is. Home is where we gather. Home is our safe place. Home is our sanctuary. Home is cozy. The most important place we have in our lives on this Earth is home.

I feel like when Robert and I were both working in an office, we barely got any time at home. Our family time was stuffed into a couple of hours in the morning, a couple of hours at night, and our two weekend days. When I was in the Air National Guard, and he was in the Army National Guard, we had one weekend a month that we were away from home as well. And those weekends never aligned, so we only had two weekends a month to ourselves. Thankfully, we are both out now, so we don’t have to worry about giving up that time anymore. But even then, for something so important as home, I think we all spend time away from it far more than we should. In this respect, the pandemic was a blessing. We went from being apart so many hours of the day to being together 24/7. And boy, did I take to working from home quickly. It took me about 1 hour to get used to it, maybe not even that much time. I think it was a much harder transition for Robert. I was the, “Yay! I get to curl up in my leggings and snuggie all day!! Whoohooo!” And he was the, “I am still going to get dressed in my nice clothes and keep a strict schedule.” Now, if that doesn’t show you the opposites we are, I don’t know what will! Like anything else, we eventually found our new groove.

Honestly, our lifestyle really didn’t change all that much except for not having to go to work every day. Even before the pandemic, we really didn’t go out to eat very often, we didn’t really go out for activities, and we did the majority of our hanging out together at home. The one thing that I thought was utterly ridiculous was the closing of all the playgrounds. Do you know how hard it is for a little virus to stay alive long enough to make someone sick when it’s on a metal or plastic surface IN THE SUN??? That really put a crimp in our routine because we loved taking the boys to the park to play, and after I figured out I probably wasn’t going to get arrested, I definitely took the boys to play even when it was “closed”. I am happy to say that a lot of other families followed suit. Amazing, right?

I thought it was incredible getting to spend so much time with my family. I felt like I finally wasn’t missing out on anything. I had so much mommy guilt every time my babies would cry when I would walk out the door. I constantly felt like I was failing them, handing them off to someone else to raise for eight or more hours a day. It broke my mommy heart.

Then came Autumn 2020, and Robbie was to start kindergarten! We decided against our neighborhood public school and enrolled him at a language immersion charter school. I won’t share the name of this school. The first half of his day was in English, and the second half was in Chinese. The language teachers were native speakers. We thought this was so cool. He would get exposure to another culture and language, eventually becoming fluent. They even had cute little uniforms! Everything went swimmingly and it was all unicorns and rainbows! (Insert laughter) This is what began our homeschool journey.

I think the first two weeks of kindergarten went well. Robbie seemed to enjoy it. This is the point where I implore you to read your kiddos. Be hyper aware of their emotions and what is and isn’t normal. We started getting calls that Robbie was being disruptive during class, that he was falling asleep (isn’t that normal for a 5 year old?), that he was being disruptive again and wouldn’t listen, and he wasn’t doing any of his classwork. Then he started having bathroom accidents at school. That was not normal for him. Then he started doing that several times a week because he figured out that I would pick him up to go home to change. We had a meeting with his teachers, the principal, and the school special education advocate. We discussed how far behind he was, potentially putting him on an IEP, how we would refuse to do any of his classwork, and his outbursts during learning time. I felt like we had failed as parents and that we had done something wrong. I almost felt like we were the ones in trouble with the school for how our son was acting. I saw my not-so-great childhood school experience playing out all over again in our little boy. I had a lot of trouble paying attention during class, and I wouldn’t be able to sit still. This resulted in me being diagnosed with ADHD and forced to take pills that made me feel terrible, and nobody would listen to me, which resulted in me lying about taking them. I would wash them down the sink… So you can see how I saw how this situation would eventually play out.

The Chinese teacher was actually a wonderful teacher and human being. She her absolute best to try to help Robbie get through the day. I would say she went above and beyond. Robbie really liked her, too. He still talks about her three years later! His English teacher, however, was terrible, and I’m just going to say it, mean. I really don’t like speaking ill of other people, and I really do try to see the good in everyone, but she made our lives so much more miserable because of her antics. The Chinese teacher would send Robbie’s classwork home with him every night so we could help him one-on-one. This was so helpful, even though it was all in Chinese! I’ll admit I did a lot of his homework for him because he had no idea, I had no idea, Robert had no idea, none of us had any idea what the heck we were reading!! One weekend, Robbie came home with about THREE HOURS of homework from his English class. I think it was probably more than that, but I have up trying to get Robbie to do it. It was all of the work that he was supposed to do during class. He wasn’t getting the support he needed, so he would just doodle on all of it. I asked his teacher to send his classwork home with him every night so we could help him with it and avoid it cutting into our family time so much, and her response floored me. “Sorry, I won’t send Robbie’s classwork home with him every night. He just wants your individual attention. He has plenty of time to finish it during class, and if it’s cutting into family time, that’s on him.” WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A FIVE YEAR OLD!!! A FIVE YEAR OLD!! Of course he wants our individual attention. We’re his parents, and he’s still a baby! This woman gave us the “I’ve been a kindergarten teacher for ten years” schpeel, and I don’t think I have ever felt so much condescension.

As much as I hate it when people get sick, there is a silver lining about this school going to virtual because all the office staff caught the big C. We picked up all of his supplies, got ready to sign in, and then I saw the schedule. These people wanted FIVE YEAR OLDS to sit at a computer for six hours a day with one 15-minute break and a 45-minute recess. I know they were trying to do the best they could with the situation, but don’t you think this was quite out of touch? There was absolutely no way, on top of everything we had already experienced, that I was going to put all of us through this misery. Robert agreed to try out homeschooling. I sent a letter to the school, pulling Robbie out, and as much as I wanted to give them a piece of my mind, I didn’t. (I will thank Robert here. He’s definitely the much more prudent of the two of us). I researched the crud out of homeschooling and found this wonderful world of catering to the level your child is at. There’s no such thing as behind, and they have as much individual attention as they need. I built my own curriculum with the 180 Days books from Amazon and workbooks from Dollar Tree. We got to work, and magic happened! About three weeks in, he had down pat all the things that he had been struggling with in his English class for the last three months! He could write his name, could trace and write his letters and numbers, and he really took off with his math skills! This completely validated my feelings about his struggles being entirely related to his environment at school. I’m so happy we pulled him out before his love of learning was crushed. I was completely sold on homeschooling and became obsessed. What an amazing childhood to have! Our children won’t have to be trapped in a classroom, staring out the window, counting down the seconds until the boring monotony is over. They get to learn through play, explore subjects as they become of interest, and take breaks when they need them. They don’t have to ask to go to the bathroom. They can eat when they want, and they can pick the place where we do our lessons. They learn at their own pace, and they learn in their own styles. I can cater to each child and meet them where they are at. More importantly, their innocence is protected. They won’t be forced to grow up too soon, be subjected to intense peer pressure, or learn about things that are inappropriate for children. They get to learn about God’s love, the Bible, and how to grow in their faith. They are learning to love like Jesus, be kind and generous, and we are able to instill a traditional set of values and important life skills. Homeschooling also made our lives much simpler and a whole lot less chaotic! Even if you aren’t a Christian, you can still see the amazing benefits homeschooling has to offer. You don’t even have to be a stay-at-home parent! You have the flexibility to dictate your schedule, and there are so many options with co-ops and online classes. So go ahead and try it! I think you’ll be happy with it too! We are three years in, and I still have no desire to send them to a government school!

Next up, I will be writing about “The Importance of Home: How we found ourselves Homebirthing.” I am also working on getting some social media up and running!